Any one that has been a Christian for a year or more has certainly heard the parable of the prodigal son. Even if you are not a Christian, you probably have heard of it and may even understand the story.
What I wonder is what happened when they were done cleaning up and putting the dishes away. What happened when party was over, how did they settle back into life again? What happened with the music stopped, when the last guest left?
Throughout anyone’s life, there is disappointment. The disappointment comes in many forms and most notably from those you love, or should love, the most. The stories are all around us. You hear about the child that was verbally or physically abused, neglected or just not nurtured. You hear about the parent that was so consumed with alcohol or career that they left the family behind. You hear about the cheating spouse, the child that broke the law or the friend that stole from another.
Disappointment surrounds us, and this parable gives us a prescription for addressing the forgiveness warranted to those you care about. What do you do when the forgiveness is complete, how do you go on from there?
To me this question is an important question because it goes right to the heart our daily lives. When someone you care about disappoints, after they have made their amends, just how much do you trust them? Can the relationship return to the pre-disappointment state? Do you trust them as if nothing ever happened? Do you re-divide the inheritance and give another third again, or has that bridge been crossed?
Just how do we continue when the fatted calf is now gone?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
What if your life sucked?
We all hear people say their life sucks, or stinks or something like that, but what if it was true? We’ll get back to that in a minute.
If you know me, you might not call me an introvert, but if you know me well, you probably would.
My goal when I travel by airplane is to not sit next to anyone, but if I do have to, to absolutely not speak with them. I consider it to have been a successful flight when I arrive at my destination and I haven’t said a single word to the person(s) seated near me. Yeah, I know, it’s not a laudable goal, but it’s what I do.
Strange in a way, since I really do like people, actually, I love people. But, I don’t feel like engaging in conversation with a complete stranger that I will probably never see again. I prefer to speak to people that I will interact with regularly. In fact, the sad truth is that I have no friends or relationships with people that I don’t have some reason to. I don’t converse with a single friend from high school, college, prior jobs or from any activities that I might have met them. Not something that I am proud of, but I just don’t nourish those relationships.
So, you can imagine my dismay when I sat next to chatty Cathy on a flight from Philadelphia to Fort Lauderdale Florida recently. It all went wrong when I had to excuse myself as I tried to plop my over-sized derriere into the middle seat. You know that’s the worst seat, your chances of vocal contact just increased by fifty percent with a possible attack from both sides. As it turned out, the odds had just tipped against me.
She opened with a line that I couldn’t ignore as she stated “My life Sucks”. I have to admit that I was struggling for ways to pretend I didn’t hear it, ‘cause I knew that was a verbal volley that required a return. While I instantly calculated the odds of her believing I had suffered severe hearing loss at some point earlier in my life, I realized it was over. I was never good at acting, and thus would never be able to play a deaf character believably for two and half hours.
So, I was faced with a decision. Do I tell her that I don’t care how bad her life sucks? I could say something like, “That’s nice, mine is great, glad I am not you”, but apparently Jesus had made the trip with me. He shut that down pretty quick. I realized that I couldn’t pretend to be a Christian on Sunday, and then completely shut down one of God’s children on Monday. Nope, that wasn’t the right thing and truthfully, I really do care about people, so I couldn’t do that anyway despite my deep seeded need to rest my vocals.
So, I offered the only response that I felt was acceptable as I volleyed back “Really, Why is that?” I prepared myself for the onslaught, half expecting to hear complaints about material things or unimportant details that we so often consume ourselves with. She started to weave her tale.
It started about 18 years ago, I was instantly gratified that this wasn’t a transcontinental or transatlantic flight. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. She fought it for a few years, and won the battle. During her struggle, her husband left her, which ruined her financially as he didn’t ever pay her a single cent of child support.
After she beat the cancer, she lost her job. A few years later she was headed for a vacation with her daughter; a cruise to take them away from the pain and struggles of the years, even if only for a little while. On the way to the airport, they were involved in a car accident, which took her only daughters life. The car accident also left her unable to walk for three years. As she was recovering from that, she was diagnosed with cancer again, this time in the uterus. She went into treatment for a few years and beat that. By now, I was totally blown away, but she had more.
After beating that cancer, she settled into a normal life for a few years, and then started to feel something was wrong. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong. This went on for a year or so until a huge mass was discovered in her uterus again. This time they said there was nothing they could do because the cancer had become entwined in too many organs. She could try to be treated with chemotherapy, but the odds of success we not in her favor. She tried, but has not responded to treatment. The doctors have given her less than a year to live.
She decided to give it all up, to say the heck with it and spend the rest of her time on earth enjoying what she could. She was on her way to take a 30 day cruise, then when she gets done with that, a visit to the doctor to see what he says. Depending on what he says, she is planning a 100 day cruise, on which she wants to die.
I was just about in tears. What an awful story. Here I was sitting right next to this poor soul, wishing I could find a way to not even say hello. I might be one of her last ‘real’ encounters on earth and I was about to waste it on my selfish desires for peace and quiet.
My question too all you is, what if your life sucked? I mean, what if it REALLY sucked? What would you do? What would you expect from others?
I am truly blessed in so many ways, but what do I do for others that aren’t? Play deaf? Pretend I can’t hear them, speak another language, and walk by them without so much as a look or a nod of affirmation? Not even say hello, give a sense of hope, of love, of care, concern or empathy? Is that what I do?
O dear lord, please help me not to be that way to your children. Please lord, make me always realize that every living, breathing person is deserving of your mercy, of my human love. Make me new in my ways; help me to show that I am Christian through my actions, words and deeds.
If you know me, you might not call me an introvert, but if you know me well, you probably would.
My goal when I travel by airplane is to not sit next to anyone, but if I do have to, to absolutely not speak with them. I consider it to have been a successful flight when I arrive at my destination and I haven’t said a single word to the person(s) seated near me. Yeah, I know, it’s not a laudable goal, but it’s what I do.
Strange in a way, since I really do like people, actually, I love people. But, I don’t feel like engaging in conversation with a complete stranger that I will probably never see again. I prefer to speak to people that I will interact with regularly. In fact, the sad truth is that I have no friends or relationships with people that I don’t have some reason to. I don’t converse with a single friend from high school, college, prior jobs or from any activities that I might have met them. Not something that I am proud of, but I just don’t nourish those relationships.
So, you can imagine my dismay when I sat next to chatty Cathy on a flight from Philadelphia to Fort Lauderdale Florida recently. It all went wrong when I had to excuse myself as I tried to plop my over-sized derriere into the middle seat. You know that’s the worst seat, your chances of vocal contact just increased by fifty percent with a possible attack from both sides. As it turned out, the odds had just tipped against me.
She opened with a line that I couldn’t ignore as she stated “My life Sucks”. I have to admit that I was struggling for ways to pretend I didn’t hear it, ‘cause I knew that was a verbal volley that required a return. While I instantly calculated the odds of her believing I had suffered severe hearing loss at some point earlier in my life, I realized it was over. I was never good at acting, and thus would never be able to play a deaf character believably for two and half hours.
So, I was faced with a decision. Do I tell her that I don’t care how bad her life sucks? I could say something like, “That’s nice, mine is great, glad I am not you”, but apparently Jesus had made the trip with me. He shut that down pretty quick. I realized that I couldn’t pretend to be a Christian on Sunday, and then completely shut down one of God’s children on Monday. Nope, that wasn’t the right thing and truthfully, I really do care about people, so I couldn’t do that anyway despite my deep seeded need to rest my vocals.
So, I offered the only response that I felt was acceptable as I volleyed back “Really, Why is that?” I prepared myself for the onslaught, half expecting to hear complaints about material things or unimportant details that we so often consume ourselves with. She started to weave her tale.
It started about 18 years ago, I was instantly gratified that this wasn’t a transcontinental or transatlantic flight. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. She fought it for a few years, and won the battle. During her struggle, her husband left her, which ruined her financially as he didn’t ever pay her a single cent of child support.
After she beat the cancer, she lost her job. A few years later she was headed for a vacation with her daughter; a cruise to take them away from the pain and struggles of the years, even if only for a little while. On the way to the airport, they were involved in a car accident, which took her only daughters life. The car accident also left her unable to walk for three years. As she was recovering from that, she was diagnosed with cancer again, this time in the uterus. She went into treatment for a few years and beat that. By now, I was totally blown away, but she had more.
After beating that cancer, she settled into a normal life for a few years, and then started to feel something was wrong. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong. This went on for a year or so until a huge mass was discovered in her uterus again. This time they said there was nothing they could do because the cancer had become entwined in too many organs. She could try to be treated with chemotherapy, but the odds of success we not in her favor. She tried, but has not responded to treatment. The doctors have given her less than a year to live.
She decided to give it all up, to say the heck with it and spend the rest of her time on earth enjoying what she could. She was on her way to take a 30 day cruise, then when she gets done with that, a visit to the doctor to see what he says. Depending on what he says, she is planning a 100 day cruise, on which she wants to die.
I was just about in tears. What an awful story. Here I was sitting right next to this poor soul, wishing I could find a way to not even say hello. I might be one of her last ‘real’ encounters on earth and I was about to waste it on my selfish desires for peace and quiet.
My question too all you is, what if your life sucked? I mean, what if it REALLY sucked? What would you do? What would you expect from others?
I am truly blessed in so many ways, but what do I do for others that aren’t? Play deaf? Pretend I can’t hear them, speak another language, and walk by them without so much as a look or a nod of affirmation? Not even say hello, give a sense of hope, of love, of care, concern or empathy? Is that what I do?
O dear lord, please help me not to be that way to your children. Please lord, make me always realize that every living, breathing person is deserving of your mercy, of my human love. Make me new in my ways; help me to show that I am Christian through my actions, words and deeds.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Government ruined the Christian heart
I have been watching the deterioration of the Christian heart for years. It seems, to me, that we have abdicated our responsibilities as Christians to the government. I don't know when this started, but I know that it has happened. There was a time when the community gathered around the helpless and needy and stood them up. There are still glimpses of this today, but it doesn't strike me as the normal reaction or process anymore.
How did that happen? How did we give the responsibility to care for our family, friends and neighbors over to the government? It is pretty clear in the bible that we are to help those in need. In fact, it says so in many places within the bible. Of particular note is the way we treat the elderly and widowed. Specifically in the bible if states that the elderly widow should be taken care of by the church, while she also helps the church. It is first and foremost the obligation of the family to take care of their own, but for the church to also support the family of the needy.
In 1 Timothy, the bible gives clear direction about how we are to help others:
3 Take care of the widows who really need help. 4 But suppose a widow has children or grandchildren. They should first learn to put their faith into practice. They should care for their own family. In that way they will pay back their parents and grandparents. That pleases God.
5 The widow who really needs help and is left all alone puts her hope in God. Night and day she keeps on praying. Night and day she asks God for help. 6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she is still living.
7 Give those directions to the people also. Then no one can be blamed. 8 Everyone should provide for his own relatives. Most of all, everyone should take care of his own family. If he doesn't, he has left the faith. He is worse than someone who doesn't believe.
9 No widow should be put on the list of widows unless she is more than 60 years old. She must also have been faithful to her husband. 10 She must be well known for the good things she does. That includes bringing up children. It includes inviting guests into her home. It includes washing the feet of God's people. It includes helping those who are in trouble. A widow should spend her time doing all kinds of good things.
Notice that these verses includes three main points. We are to help our families and to help those in need. It also tells us that if you are in need, that you should also be helping the church.
Do you think that this happens today? Do you think that we help our families, that we reach out and help those in need? Do you think that those in need help the church? I don't think that this happens. The question is why.
Well, as the title of this blog suggests, I believe that the reliance on government has ruined the Christian heart. We no longer feel the need to be part of the church or to support the church. We no longer feel the need to help our family, to help our friends or neighbors. I would argue that the reason we don't do that as we should is because we have adopted the philosophy that the government owns this responsibility.
We give when it's tax deductible, we give what's mandated by the tax code. We don't give from a caring heart, we don't give out of love. We no longer give because we are Christians, because we believe it's the right thing to do, because God has asked us to.
In the United States, we often hear talk about the separation of church and state. Primarily when you hear this it's a reference to the use of God or religion in government. What's missing from this argument is that we as Christians have become inexorably tied to the state. We expect the government to take over our responsibilities, we have let the government step in and assume our role as Christians.
I know that this doesn't apply to all of us, that this doesn't mean that there is no good work being done by the churches, by the people of the church. But I do believe that by and large we (Christians) are not taking the primary role here. We eexpect the government to play the majority role.
Do you agree and if so how do we change this?
How did that happen? How did we give the responsibility to care for our family, friends and neighbors over to the government? It is pretty clear in the bible that we are to help those in need. In fact, it says so in many places within the bible. Of particular note is the way we treat the elderly and widowed. Specifically in the bible if states that the elderly widow should be taken care of by the church, while she also helps the church. It is first and foremost the obligation of the family to take care of their own, but for the church to also support the family of the needy.
In 1 Timothy, the bible gives clear direction about how we are to help others:
3 Take care of the widows who really need help. 4 But suppose a widow has children or grandchildren. They should first learn to put their faith into practice. They should care for their own family. In that way they will pay back their parents and grandparents. That pleases God.
5 The widow who really needs help and is left all alone puts her hope in God. Night and day she keeps on praying. Night and day she asks God for help. 6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she is still living.
7 Give those directions to the people also. Then no one can be blamed. 8 Everyone should provide for his own relatives. Most of all, everyone should take care of his own family. If he doesn't, he has left the faith. He is worse than someone who doesn't believe.
9 No widow should be put on the list of widows unless she is more than 60 years old. She must also have been faithful to her husband. 10 She must be well known for the good things she does. That includes bringing up children. It includes inviting guests into her home. It includes washing the feet of God's people. It includes helping those who are in trouble. A widow should spend her time doing all kinds of good things.
Notice that these verses includes three main points. We are to help our families and to help those in need. It also tells us that if you are in need, that you should also be helping the church.
Do you think that this happens today? Do you think that we help our families, that we reach out and help those in need? Do you think that those in need help the church? I don't think that this happens. The question is why.
Well, as the title of this blog suggests, I believe that the reliance on government has ruined the Christian heart. We no longer feel the need to be part of the church or to support the church. We no longer feel the need to help our family, to help our friends or neighbors. I would argue that the reason we don't do that as we should is because we have adopted the philosophy that the government owns this responsibility.
We give when it's tax deductible, we give what's mandated by the tax code. We don't give from a caring heart, we don't give out of love. We no longer give because we are Christians, because we believe it's the right thing to do, because God has asked us to.
In the United States, we often hear talk about the separation of church and state. Primarily when you hear this it's a reference to the use of God or religion in government. What's missing from this argument is that we as Christians have become inexorably tied to the state. We expect the government to take over our responsibilities, we have let the government step in and assume our role as Christians.
I know that this doesn't apply to all of us, that this doesn't mean that there is no good work being done by the churches, by the people of the church. But I do believe that by and large we (Christians) are not taking the primary role here. We eexpect the government to play the majority role.
Do you agree and if so how do we change this?
Sunday, November 2, 2008
How do you judge success?
If we judge success by our standards, you would probably consider some of the following factors.
- Career
- House
- Car
- Spouse
- Money
- Kids (how well they perform by the same standards)
Some of us would throw in the personal happiness, job satisfaction and a few other extraneous factors. I would submit, that even those of us that would hesitate to say that we consider these factors, there's and underlying tone to our valuations that take these into account.
Think about it. Would you want your daughter to marry someone that didn't really work. That didn't have a house (or apartment) to live in? Someone that had no money, no health insurance or a decent car? Most of us would say absolutely not.
What about if that was your son. Would you be happy with him? Would you want him to have that as his life?
You probably know where I'm going with this, right?
Think about Jesus, what did he have? He was probably one of the least successful people by our standards that we know. Yet, he was one of the truly successful people of all time. I have known some great people in my life, and as great as they are, we will not be talking about them in 2000 years.
I am not saying that we should all quit our jobs, sell our homes and trade our sneakers in for sandals. But, just maybe we should consider how we evaluate people, how we judge ourselves. Maybe we should think about what our life says about what we value.
- Career
- House
- Car
- Spouse
- Money
- Kids (how well they perform by the same standards)
Some of us would throw in the personal happiness, job satisfaction and a few other extraneous factors. I would submit, that even those of us that would hesitate to say that we consider these factors, there's and underlying tone to our valuations that take these into account.
Think about it. Would you want your daughter to marry someone that didn't really work. That didn't have a house (or apartment) to live in? Someone that had no money, no health insurance or a decent car? Most of us would say absolutely not.
What about if that was your son. Would you be happy with him? Would you want him to have that as his life?
You probably know where I'm going with this, right?
Think about Jesus, what did he have? He was probably one of the least successful people by our standards that we know. Yet, he was one of the truly successful people of all time. I have known some great people in my life, and as great as they are, we will not be talking about them in 2000 years.
I am not saying that we should all quit our jobs, sell our homes and trade our sneakers in for sandals. But, just maybe we should consider how we evaluate people, how we judge ourselves. Maybe we should think about what our life says about what we value.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Ever wonder if any of this matters....
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP the alarm rudely jolts me back into reality.
Time to get up; I've got things to do. I have places to go, people to talk to, projects to finish, others to start. Enough of that dream world, I have more important things to do.
Do you ever wonder what you are doing, why are you doing this, what is the value? I get a call from my boss, "Hey, we really need you to pick up this project, It's very important". Is it? Really, tell me is it really important? What's going to happen if I don't do that project, what’s going to happen if I don't go to work today? What's going to happen if I quit my job, if I back out of the social activities, if I don't hit the trail today? Really, what will happen?
Maybe I will spend more time with my spouse, love a little more on my kids? Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to focus on what God wants me to do instead of what I want to do. Really, does any of this matter?
Ok, I am not saying that we all need to quit our jobs or to stop doing the things that we fill our time with, but maybe we need to put it in perspective. At the end of the day, what have we accomplished? We all know that one day leads to the next, and very quickly they flow into weeks, months and years. Before you know it, a whole lifetime has passed. What did you do with your time on earth?
When you think of the really great people, the people that made a difference in the world do you ever wonder how or why they did it? I am not talking about the famous actor, the gifted writer, the leader of a country. I am talking about people that changed the world, not just for themselves, not just for their immediate followers, but for the world. I am talking about people that from their graves are still changing people, still transforming the world. There are very few people that have ever walked the face of the earth with that kind of greatness.
There is of course the obvious, Jesus. He changed people while he was on the earth and continues to change people today. But really, would you expect anything less from the son of God? As great as he was, that's not who I am talking about. I am talking about ordinary people, born of ordinary circumstances. I am talking about people that gave up everything they had, that walked the earth with barely more than the clothes on their back and the shoes on their feet and some how managed to transcend the Neiman-Marcus suit that we put on today. I am talking about the person that was able to change the world with an idea, with an action, with words.
Do you ever wonder why you haven't done that? Do you? Sometimes I wonder too.
Well, enough about that, I have to go pour myself a cup of designer coffee and enjoy a Bran muffin while I catch up on the breaking news and plan my day out. I have things to do.
Time to get up; I've got things to do. I have places to go, people to talk to, projects to finish, others to start. Enough of that dream world, I have more important things to do.
Do you ever wonder what you are doing, why are you doing this, what is the value? I get a call from my boss, "Hey, we really need you to pick up this project, It's very important". Is it? Really, tell me is it really important? What's going to happen if I don't do that project, what’s going to happen if I don't go to work today? What's going to happen if I quit my job, if I back out of the social activities, if I don't hit the trail today? Really, what will happen?
Maybe I will spend more time with my spouse, love a little more on my kids? Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to focus on what God wants me to do instead of what I want to do. Really, does any of this matter?
Ok, I am not saying that we all need to quit our jobs or to stop doing the things that we fill our time with, but maybe we need to put it in perspective. At the end of the day, what have we accomplished? We all know that one day leads to the next, and very quickly they flow into weeks, months and years. Before you know it, a whole lifetime has passed. What did you do with your time on earth?
When you think of the really great people, the people that made a difference in the world do you ever wonder how or why they did it? I am not talking about the famous actor, the gifted writer, the leader of a country. I am talking about people that changed the world, not just for themselves, not just for their immediate followers, but for the world. I am talking about people that from their graves are still changing people, still transforming the world. There are very few people that have ever walked the face of the earth with that kind of greatness.
There is of course the obvious, Jesus. He changed people while he was on the earth and continues to change people today. But really, would you expect anything less from the son of God? As great as he was, that's not who I am talking about. I am talking about ordinary people, born of ordinary circumstances. I am talking about people that gave up everything they had, that walked the earth with barely more than the clothes on their back and the shoes on their feet and some how managed to transcend the Neiman-Marcus suit that we put on today. I am talking about the person that was able to change the world with an idea, with an action, with words.
Do you ever wonder why you haven't done that? Do you? Sometimes I wonder too.
Well, enough about that, I have to go pour myself a cup of designer coffee and enjoy a Bran muffin while I catch up on the breaking news and plan my day out. I have things to do.
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